Anime Idol
by Kaida-Toorima-Okami
Summary: The show where your favorite anime characters compeat in a compleatly pointless singing contest.
1. In which Kuwabara proves he's an idiot

Anime Idol  
Chapter One  
  
Kaida: hello and welcome to Anime Idol, the show where your favorite anime characters compete in a completely pointless singing contest!!  
  
*crickets chirp*  
  
Kaida: -_-' Well, lets begin anyway. Please welcome our judges, Hiei from Yu Yu Hakusho!  
  
*Hiei walks out from behind curtain and sits in judges booth with feet propped up on table*  
  
Kaida: *glares at Hiei* Saitou, from Ruroni Kenshin!  
  
*Saitou walks out from behind curtain, sits down, and lights up.*  
  
Kaida: *waving smoke away and eyeing smoke detector nervously* And our last judge: Rin, from Inuyasha!  
  
*Rin runs out from behind curtain and goes to sit in between Saitou and Hiei*  
  
Kaida: Our first contestant for Anime Idol will be....*looks at cue card* Oh god help us. The first contestant will be....Kuwabaka.  
  
*Kuwabara runs out holding a microphone. Hiei almost falls out of his seat. Saitou promptly sticks ear plugs in his ear. Rin looks from Hiei to Saitou to Kuwabara innocently*  
  
Kaida: So, Kuwabaka. What are you going to sing for our audience today.  
  
Kuwabara: Im going to sing Beautiful by Christina Aguilera!  
  
Kaida: O_o *twitch. Twitch*  
  
Judges: O_0  
  
Audience: O_0  
  
Kuwabara what?!!?  
  
Hiei: *cough gay cough*  
  
Kuwabara: Watch it shrimp boy!  
  
Kaida: Whatever! Just sing!! *plugs ears*  
  
Kuwabara: I am beautiful no matter what they say  
Words can't bring me down  
  
I am beautiful in every single way  
  
Yes, words can't bring me down  
  
So don't you bring me down today!!  
  
Kaida: *unplugs ears* Is it over? Oh. Judges, what did  
you  
think of Kuwabaras uhh.......interesting....... performance?  
  
Kuwabara: Hey! I wasn't done.  
  
Kaida: Well, your done now. Judges?  
  
Hiei: Awful. Horrible. The worst thing I have ever  
heard.  
  
Saitou: *cough gay cough*  
  
Rin: *gives thumbs down sign* you suck. *sticks tongue  
out at Kuwabara*  
  
Kuwabara: Hey!! That's not fair!! Or nice.....  
  
Kaida: Kuwabara, no one cares. But it will be the  
viewers who  
decide the winner of Anime Idol, so, regardless of Hiei,  
Saitou, or Rins  
opinion, you could still win. (god help us if you do)  
  
Hiei: Wait. If we don't get to decide the winners,  
then why the heck are we here?!  
  
Kaida: I dunno. A publicity gimmick? Who cares, you  
get to  
make fun of complete idiots for free so why are you  
complaining?  
  
Kaida: Anyway, tune in tomorrow for our next two  
contestants....*looks at cue card*.... Yukina and Sesshomaru!!  
  
Authors Note: I don't own American Idol. I do own Anime  
Idol. This  
was MY IDEA. NO ONE STEAL IT.....Grrrrr... Oh yeah, I don't own  
any of the songs either. And yes, the reviewers will be  
deciding who wins  
Anime Idol AT THE END. That means you can review now, but  
don't  
tell me who your voting for until I tell you to send in  
that particular  
review, ok? Ok. Get it? Got it? Good. 


	2. In which Sesshomaru's dignity goes byeby...

**Anime Idol  
Chapter Two

* * *

**  
  
Kaida: walks onto stage holding microphone. Welcome to the second episode of Anime Idol  
  
Fake clapping ensues  
  
Kaida: Anyway, please welcome our judges, Hiei.........HIEI THAT WAS YOUR CUE, BAKA YAROU!!!  
  
Hiei walks out calmly and sits down  
  
Kaida: rolling eyes at Hiei Saitou,  
  
Saitou walks out, sits down, and lights up (de ja vu, ne?)  
  
Kaida : And Rin!  
  
Rin runs out from behind curtain and sits between Saitou and Hiei  
  
Kaida: Our first contestant is squints to read cue card Yukia!  
  
Yukina walks out and stands next to Kaida  
  
Kaida: what will you be singing today, Yukina?  
  
Yukina: Bows politely I thought I would sing Ironic, by Alanis Morissette.  
  
Kaida: shrugs Sure, go for it.  
  
Yukina: An old man turned ninety-eight He won the lottery and died the next day It's a black fly in your chardonnay It's a death row pardon two minutes too late Isn't it ironic... don't you think?  
  
It's like rain on your wedding day It's a free ride when you've already paid It's the good advice that you just didn't take Who would've thought... it figures  
  
Mr. play it safe was afraid to fly He packed his suitcase and kissed his kids goodbye He waited his whole damn life to take that flight And as the plane crashed down he thought "well isn't this nice..." And isn't it ironic... don't you think?  
  
Well life has a funny way of sneaking up on you When you think everything's okay and everything's going right And life has a funny way of helping you out when You think everything's gone wrong and everything blows up In your face  
  
A traffic jam when you're already late A no-smoking sign on your cigarette break It's like ten thousand spoons when all you need is a knife It's meeting the man of my dreams And then meeting his beautiful wife And isn't it ironic... don't you think? A little too ironic... and yeah i really do think...  
  
Life has a funny way of sneaking up on you Life has a funny, funny way of helping you out Helping you out.....  
  
Audience: clapping  
  
Kaida: Very good. Judges?  
  
Saitou: Not bad, kid.  
  
Rin: little kid angle face Pretty lady sings really good!!  
  
Hiei: She wins.  
  
Kaida: Rolling her eyes at Hiei (again) Ok, thanks Yukina.  
  
Yukina: bows and walks off stage happily  
  
Kaida: Our next contestant person is.....oh boy....Sesshomaru.  
  
Sesshomaru walks out on stage. Random rabid fan girls start screaming  
  
Sesshomaru: .......  
  
Kaida: Not very articulate are we...? --;  
  
Rin: waves Hi Fluffy-sama!!!!  
  
Kaida: snorts  
  
Sesshomaru: nods to Rin.Glares at Kaida Did you say something.  
  
Kaida Face red from trying not to laugh. Shakes head. No sir..  
  
Sesshomaru: I didn't think so  
  
Kaida:.....softly Fluffy-sama.  
  
Sesshomaru: GLARE I heard that.  
  
Kaida: Sorry, Anyway, what are you going to be singin.  
  
Sesshomaru: I'm to sexy-  
  
Random Rabid Fan Girl #1: Damn straight!!  
  
Random Rabid Fan Girl #2: wolf whistle  
  
Kaida: Sesshomaru, control your groupies.  
  
Sesshomaru: continuing as if he didn't hear by Right Said Fred  
  
Rin's hand goes up in the air  
  
Rin: Fluffy-sama, what's sexy?  
  
Kaida, Hiei and Audience: anime face vault and sweatdrop combo.  
  
Miroku: stands up You see Rin, its like this-  
  
Kaida: turning red SIT DOWN AND SHUT UP, MONK!!  
  
Miroku: Yes 'mam. sits down VERY fast  
  
Kaida: Anyway, Rin, Fluffy-sama will tell you later.  
  
Sesshomaru: I will..?  
  
Kaida: Yes. Now, Sing so I can go home.  
  
Sesshomaru: I'm too sexy for my love, too sexy for my love Love's going to leave me  
  
I'm too sexy for my shirt too sexy for my shirt So sexy it hurts And I'm too sexy for Milan too sexy for Milan New York and Japan And I'm too sexy for your party Too sexy for your party No way I'm disco dancing  
  
I'm a model you know what I mean And I do my little turn on the catwalk  
Yeah on the catwalk on the catwalk yeah I do my little turn on the catwalk  
  
I'm too sexy for my car too sexy for my car Too sexy by far And I'm too sexy for my hat Too sexy for my hat what do you think about that  
  
I'm a model you know what I mean And I do my little turn on the catwalk Yeah on the catwalk on the catwalk yeah I shake my little touche on the catwalk  
  
I'm too sexy for my too sexy for my too sexy for my  
  
I'm a model you know what I mean And I do my little turn on the catwalk Yeah on the catwalk yeah on the catwalk yeah I shake my little touche on the catwalk  
  
I'm too sexy for my cat too sexy for my cat Poor pussy poor pussy cat I'm too sexy for my love too sexy for my love Love's going to leave me  
  
And I'm too sexy for this song  
  
Kaida: Wow, I didn't know touche was in your vocabulary. Alright, Judges, what did you think?  
  
Hiei: twitch Twitch I think I have been traumatized for life.....  
  
Saitou: Eye brow twitching Creepy, just plain creepy.  
  
Rin: Clapping Yay, Fluffy-sama, You win! You win!  
  
Hiei: No, Yukina wins.  
  
Rin: glare Fluffy  
  
Hiei: Yukina  
  
Rin: Fluffy  
  
Hiei: Yukina  
  
Rin: Fluffy  
  
Hiei: Yuki-  
  
Kaida: HIEI! Your arguing with an Eight (how old is Rin anyway?) year old! And Losing!! Get a grip!!  
  
Hiei: Hn.  
  
Rin: Sticks tongue out at Hiei.  
  
Hiei: makes sure no one is looking Sticks tongue out at Rin.  
  
Kaida: Oo Anyway, Thank you for that..uhhh...interesting...song.  
  
Sesshomaru walks out to the disappointment of his legion of Rabid Fan Girls  
  
Kaida: Join us next time for another episode of Anime Idol, where your favorite Anime stars loose every shred of dignity they have by singing stupid songs in front of America and every other county with Cable (or in this case a modem) Goodnight! (or morning...or afternoon...whatever)

A/N: Poor Fluffy-sama. He may never regain his lost dignity.

Sesshomaru: What the hell did you do woman?!

Me: cowering I couldnt help it!! Its funny!!!

Sesshomaru: Do you see me laughing?!

Me: Actually, I dont think any one has ever seen you laugh...

Sesshomaur: trys to kill me

Me: EEP!! Review! Doges poison claws Hey! Watch it!!


	3. In which an Ego battle occurs and Miroku...

AUTHORS NOTES:  
  
**Applejack**: Thanx for reviewing. I love your idea about Ranma . I'm gonna use him in one of the chapters. I would use the others but, since I don't watch DC, I haven't a clue who they are --; sorry about that. Lol.  
  
**Anime Idol  
Chapter Three**

* * *

  
  
Kaida: Welcome, to yet another episode of Anime Idol, the show where you get to see your favorite anime stars make complete fools of themselves in plain view!!! Please welcome our judges, who don't really get to judge anything!  
  
Hiei, Rin, and Saitou walk out and sit down. Saitou lights up (what's new --;)  
  
Rin: looks up and Saitou's cigarette Smoking's bad for your health.  
  
Saitou: Hn.  
  
Hiei: That's my word  
  
Saitou: Deal with it.  
  
Hiei: I'll deal with you.  
  
Saitou: Is that a challenge?  
  
Hiei: You bet. Bring it on you littl-  
  
Kaida: interrupting hurridly Ok, ok. Shut up. Our first contestant today is.....squinting at cue card Damn this print is small....oh! Kouga from Inuyasha!!  
  
Kouga's fan girls go insane

Kouga walks out  
  
Kaida: Hi Kouga-kun. What are you gonna sing?  
  
Kouga: My Girl, by Aerosmith. Winks at Kagome  
  
VERY loud crash fallowed by incoherent swearing is heard from backstage  
  
Kaida: nervous You do know that Inuyasha is back stage, right Kouga-kun?  
  
Kouga: scoffs Please, what is dog turd gonna do? Growl at me?  
  
Kaida: All right, but I hope you have insurance....  
  
Kouga: My girl, she breathes hellfire And my girl, she feeds my desire My girl sadie, she's the wind in my sails A puss'n boots lady with a cat o' nine tails Comin' after you honey, feet don't fail me now  
  
My girl, she's bare back rider And my girl, she's lady go diva She's a full time love no mon ami Sweeter than honey from a honeybee And it all rubs off on little old me, oh  
  
Slippin' in and out of love Slippin' in and out of love Slippin' in and out of love Slippin' in and out of love  
  
My girl, she smokes barbed wire And my girl, can't get no higher I made it with the lady and a one track mind Diamonds in the rought, they're so hard find Day after day, the same old grind And grind and grind and grind....  
  
My girl, my girl, my girl, my girl....  
  
My girl, she's bare back rider And my girl, she's lady go diva She's a full time love no mon ami Sweeter than honey from a honeybee And it all rubs off on little old me, oh  
  
Slippin' in and out of love Slippin' in and out of love Slippin' in and out of love Slippin' in and out of love  
  
Oh, my girl!  
  
more crashes and swearing from behind the curtain.  
  
Kaida: Well, judges? Your verdict before the unnamed jealous hanyou destroys my stage?  
  
Hiei: Aerosmith rocks. You have my vote.  
  
Rin: I don't get it....  
  
Saitou: Who cares.....  
  
Kaida: sweatdrop Thank you judges...I think....Alright, our next contestant is Inuyasha from, wouldn't you know it, Inuyasha.  
  
Inuyasha stomps out and glares at Kouga.

Kouga smirks  
  
Inuyasha: Quit trying to steal Kagome!!!  
  
Kouga: In order to steal her, she would have had to belong to you in the first place. Kagome is MY woman.  
  
Kaida: oh boy....  
  
Kagome: HEY!! I'M RIGHT HERE!!! I AM NOT A POSSESSION. SIT!  
  
Inuyasha: crash $&&#()$##&$  
  
Kaida: HEY! Language!!!  
  
Kaida: Anyway, what are you singing.  
  
Inuyasha: stands up and looks straight at Kagome It Makes Me Ill  
  
Kaida: Oh you cant be serious....all right, go ahead.  
  
Inuyasha: I was hanging with the fellas Saw you with your new boyfriend, it made me jealous I was hoping that I'd never see you with him But it's all good, 'cause I'm glad that I met him  
Heh  
  
'Cause now I know the competition's very slim to none  
  
And I can tell by looking that he's not the one  
  
He's not the type you said you liked  
  
His style is wack, clothes are bad  
  
Come on, girl, let him go  
  
I want you back  
  
Call me a hater, if you want to  
But I only hate on him 'cause I want you  
Say I'm trippin' if you feel like  
But you without me ain't right (ain't right)  
You can say I'm crazy, if you want to  
That's true-- I'm crazy 'bout you  
You could say I'm breakin' down inside (inside)  
'Cause I can't see you with another guy  
  
it makes me ill  
To see you give  
Love and attention at his will  
And you can't imagine how it makes me feel  
To see you with him  
Oh, it makes me ill  
To see you give  
Love and attention at his will  
And you can't imagine how it makes me feel  
To see you with him  
  
Girl I know that we broke up  
But that doesn't mean you should give the cold shoulder  
'Cause you know that I truly do adore ya  
And that other guy can't do nothin' for ya  
Uh, see  
I can tell that you don't really love that guy  
But there's no need for you to go and waste your time  
I think you know I love ya more  
Girl you gotta let him go  
I want you so just give him the boot  
  
Oh, it makes me ill  
To see you give  
Love and attention at his will  
And you can't imagine how it makes me feel  
To see you with him  
  
Ohh...  
It makes me ill cause you used to be my girl  
Used to be (my girl) used to be my girl yeahhh  
It makes me ill (ooh) cause you used to be my girl (c'mon)  
My girl  
So baby come back to me (baby...)  
  
It makes me ill  
To see you give  
Love and attention at his will (at his will..)  
And you can't imagine how it makes me feel  
To see you with him (when I see you with him)  
Oh, it makes me ill  
To see you give  
Love and attention at his will (at his will)  
And you can't imagine how it makes me feel  
To see you with him (baby I'm jealous)  
  
Oh it makes me ill  
To see you give  
Love and attention at his will  
And you can't imagine how it makes me feel  
To see you with him (you can't imagine how it makes me feel)  
  
Oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh..  
Oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh...  
Oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh..  
Oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh..  
  
Kagome: turning red form embarrassment  
  
Kouga: turning red from anger  
  
Kaida: turning red from trying no to laugh at the love triangle Judges.  
  
Hiei: Boy bands suck.  
  
Rin: coloring Yeah, what he said  
  
Saitou: You need couples counseling.  
  
Inuyasha: sputtering Kagome and I aren't a couple!!  
  
Kagome: SIT!  
  
Inuyasha: WHAT THE #&# DID I DO?!?!  
  
Kaida: WATCH YOUR &#%$ LANGUAGE YOU (#&#( LITTLE ($%#!!!  
  
crickets chirping.  
  
Kaida: Thank you. Inuyasha, Kouga? Go away.  
  
Said demons stomp off stage to go harass poor Kagome-chan  
  
Kaida: Our next contestant is everyone's favorite perverted houshi, Miroku- kun.  
  
Miroku walks up grinning

Several groupies faint  
  
Kaida: eyeing Miroku's infamous wandering hands nervously And you will be singing...?  
  
Miroku: I Like Big Butts  
  
Kaida: I am not going to think about the implications of that sentence. Sing.  
  
Miroku: I like big butts and I can not lie You other brothers can't deny That when a girl walks in with an itty bitty waste And a round thing in your face You get sprung Wanna pull up front Cuz you notice that butt was stuffed Deep in the jeans she's wearing  
I'm hooked and I can't stop staring Oh, baby I wanna get with ya And take your picture My homeboys tried to warn me But with that butt you got Me so horny  
Ooh, rub all of that smooth skin You say you wanna get in my Benz Well use me, abuse me cuz you ain't that average groupy  
  
I've seen them dancin' The hell with romancin' She sweat, wet, got it goin' like a turbo 'Vette  
  
I'm tired of magazines saying flat butt's the only thing Take the average black man and ask him that She gotta pack much back, so...  
  
Fellas (yeah), fellas (yeah) Has your girlfriend got the butt (hell yeah) Well shake it, shake it, shake it, shake it, shake that healthy butt Baby got back  
  
I like'em round and big And when I'm throwin' a gig I just can't help myself I'm actin like an animal Now here's my scandal  
  
I wanna get you home And ugh, double ugh, ugh I ain't talkin' bout Playboy Cuz silicone parts were made for toys I wannem real thick and juicy So find that juicy double Mixalot's in trouble Beggin' for a piece of that bubble  
  
So I'm lookin' at rock videos Watchin' these bimbos walkin' like hoes You can have them bimbos I'll keep my women like Flo Jo A word to the thick soul sistas I wanna get with ya I won't cus or hit ya But I gotta be straight when I say I wanna &% Til the break of dawn Baby, I got it goin on A lot of pimps won't like this song Cuz them punks like to hit it and quit it But I'd rather stay and play Cuz I'm long and I'm strong And I'm down to get the friction on  
  
So ladies (yeah), ladies (yeah) If you wanna role in my Mercedes (yeah) Then turn around Stick it out Even white boys got to shout Baby got back  
  
(LA face with the Oakland booty)  
  
Yeah baby When it comes to females Cosmo and got nothin to do with my selection 36-24-36 Only if she's 5'3"  
  
So your girlfriend rolls a Honda Playin' workout tapes by Fonda But Fonda ain't got a motor in the back of her Honda My anaconda don't want none unless you've got buns hon You can do side bends or sit-ups, but please don't lose that butt Some brothers wanna play that hard role and tell you that the butt need to go So they toss it and leave it And I pull up quick to retrieve it So Cosmo says you're fat Well I ain't down with that Cuz your waste is small and your curves are kickin' And I'm thinkin' bout stickin' To the beanpole dames in the magazines You ain't it Miss Thang Give me a sista I can't resist her Red beans and rice didn't miss her Some knucklehead tried to dis Cuz his girls were on my list He had game but he chose to hit 'em And pulled up quick to get with 'em So ladies if the butt is round And you wanna triple X throw down Dial 1-900-mixalot and kick them nasty thoughts Baby got back  
  
fan girls screaming  
  
Kaida: sweatdrop Coughpervertcough  
  
Kaida: Judges?  
  
Hiei: Coughpervertcough  
  
Rin: What's Playboy?  
  
Saitou: Coughpervertcough  
  
Rin: What's a hoe? Im so confused....  
  
Kaida: Ask Fluffy-sama. Miroku, your ruining innocent minds. Get lost before I tell Sango on you.  
  
Miroku: runs away  
  
Kaida: Well, that's all for today folks. Join us next time for another...interesting.....episode of ANIME IDOL!!!!

* * *

A/N: Well.....yeah.......any suggestions for characters or songs then Review!! NOW!!! 


End file.
